A Series of Unfortunate Dua Kangs

Last night Lawrence asked me for my Matric card so that he could pack 2 breakfasts in the morning instead of 1. He was planning to eat the other one for lunch. Since I wasn't going to sleep before 4 as usual, which would narrow the possibility further of my waking for breakfast, I decided to oblige Law's humble request and give him my card to keep overnight so he wouldn't have to disturb my slumber in the morning when he needed it.

Little did I know that the next morning, I would be paid a visit at 830am by my other friendly neighbor Ian, who decided to do the courteous thing and wake me up to ask me whether I wanted to join him for breakfast. Below is an extract of the conversation that ensued:

Ian: Abhi... Abhi.. Abhi...... (by this time he's already in my room and looming over my bed)

[I finally wake up and see him staring down at me]

Me (groggily): Yo.. whats up

Ian (seemingly genuinely): Wanna go breakfast? It's 830.

Me (still disoriented): Huh? Hmm.. Breakfast? .. (thinks a while, searches brain for meaning of word).. oh... hmmm.... ...... . ... ... uhhh... nah no thanks.. actually... ok la ok la fuck lets just go

Ian looks a little disappointed for some reason (I dont know at the time) and I step out of my bed and get halfway across my room...

Me: CB wait.. Lawrence took my bloody matric card so that he could get double breakfast

Ian: Oh.. noo.. then how?

Me: Nvm lor.. I go back to sleep..

Ian (sheepishly): actually, I didn't think you were going to come down in the first place. When I woke you up I was hoping and expecting you'd say No since you slept late, so then i could borrow your matric card so that i could eat double breakfast.. heh heh heh

And with this revelation of my dear neighbor's true motive i went back to sleep with the image of the thinning moral fiber of the 8-short brotherhood running through my mind. But this was not the end.

When I finally surfaced later that afternoon, I bumped into Lawrence and narrated the story of Ian's dua kang masterplan which was foiled first by my willingness to wake up for breakfast which was followed by the realisation that Lawrence beat him to my matric card. Lawrence had only one thing to say in response:

"Actually... you could have taken your matric card back in the morning, and mine too even, coz i didnt even wake up to pack breakfast in the first place."




I have nothing left to say.

Except, that I am flanked on both sides by C#@­­®£3$3$....