C-Central Broadcasting (CCB): "Days that shook the World" - P1

The five ways how (NOT) to ask a girl to be your nite-cyling partner.
Events and names have been changed slightly to protect the identities of affected parties.

5. "Eh, I think I need a partner to cycle for me on nite-cycling. You interested?"

4. See 5.

3. See 5. Seriously.

2. OK fuck it, I give up. I'm more interested in writing the Number 1 way how (NOT) to ask a nite-cycling mate.

1. Based on true accounts. By the time this event unfold within the walls of his secret lair, it was well-documented how well this man, whom due to undisclosed reasons shall remain anonymous, has always wanted to go tandem-ing. This is a dramatised reconstruction of true events leading to the final minutes of "Days that shook the World".

After certain covert shit-stirring exercise by certain unnamed person(s), this man, let's call him P, wasted no time by MSN-ing certain lady in questioned. The following is a dramatised reconstruction of the MSN conversation.

P: Eh, is what *** said about you wanna go nite-cycling with me true?
At this point, the lady doesn't know if she should cry or laugh. Of course it was not true, but having been caught off-guard, she could only muster a weak reply.
Lady: Er... haha.
P: Really true ah?
Wanting to divert the question, she tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to say something ambiguous.
Lady: Er, aiya, see how la.
P: Oh, i dun mind actually... Let's go.

WTF..? Let's stop and look at the sequence of event in parts. Firstly, it was not mention in parts, by the lady, that she was interested in going nite-cycling with this certain Mr. P. But Mr. P assumes so, partly thanks to the covert shit-stirring exercise by certain forces within the ranks. Secondly, the lady did not agree, nor sadly, disagree, to go tandem-ing with Mr. P, but he assumes so, and thus sealing the deal without consent from the other party.

For the record, the nature of the way Mr. P asked the lady to be his partner for nite-cycling was rather, to put it nicely, totally unacceptable. Over @#$*&%$ bloody MSN. Where is the sincerity? And besides, doing this behind his wing mates, he has crossed the line, like a certain Selangor born Prince in an undisclosed event in SNDCC.

And that too, after assuming that the lady would go with him tandem-ing without a confirmation or consent. It is very certain that this event has shook the world to its core. CCB investigates the aftermath, and answers all the burning questions in part 2 of "Days that shook the World".